SONGS THAT TELL A STORY # 9: "Riverboat!" by FARON YOUNG, 1959

Albie's Note: In 1959, the "americana story song" was at its peak of popularity, with million sellers from Marty Robbins, Johnny Cash, and Johnny Horton inspiring scores of imitations.   This one was a pretty big hit when compared to how forgotten it is today: #4 Country, #83 Pop.

From the pen of song-writing legend Bill Anderson, here is the saga of "RIVERBOAT":

Well, I spent the better part of my life
On a Mississippi riverboat
I used to be known from coast to coast
As the slickest gambler afloat.
I've dealt the cards from Minnesota
To the harbor in New Orleans
I made a lotta big money on the riverboat
I loved a lotta pretty riverboat queens.
Riverboat, riverboat
I love your whistle's wail
I wish I was back on the riverboart
'Stead of in the Memphis jail.

--- Instrumental ---

Oh, a big man got on the riverboat
Our last time in St. Paul
He had a lotta money but his luck went bad
And the riverboat won it all.
He said I dealt from the bottom of the deck
And he pulled a shiny knife
But before that gambler lunged at me
My .44 took his life.
Riverboat, riverboat
I love your whistle's wail
I wish I was back on the riverboart
'Stead of in the Memphis jail.

--- Instrumental ---

Well, they came on the boat and they took me to jail
When we got to Tennessee
A gamblin' man has very few friends
Guess nobody cared for me.
So I might be here for a many long years
But if I ever get out
I'm gonna head straight for that levee
And get me a riverboat headin' south.
Riverboat, riverboat
I love your whistle's wail
I wish I was back on the riverboart
'Stead of in the Memphis jail.
'Stead of in the Memphis jail...

 

 

 

PEACE

SATURDAY COMEDY SHOWCASE #5: "The Walnuts" [WALTONS Parody] from CRAZY MAGAZINE #3, 1974

Albie's Note:  When I was a kid in the early '70s, there were basically 3 humor mags aimed at our pre-adolescent, rebellious funny-bones:  MAD, [of course] CRACKED, and CRAZY.   The last one was Marvel Comics' late-in-the-day shot at this market, and it always seemed to be our third and last choice for "late-night-flashlight" comedic reading.   Still, it had it's moments, and this satire on the classic drama THE WALTONS-- a huge, and I mean HUGE TV hit at the time--  is about as laugh-out-loud funny as anything I've ever read.   I actually love THE WALTONS, but this devastating parody really cracked me up!

 

"First, John-Boob, can you help me short-sheet the north 40?"

 

 

 

 

PEACE

 

RANGER AL'S WESTERN COMIX THEATRE #7: THE REBEL Johnny Yuma in "Black Eagle," 1960 [Fixed]

Albie's Note: I truly wish I had gotten to watch this show growing up.  The people who remember it always seem to do so fondly. The episodes I have managed to see on Youtube are pretty dang cool, and so are the 4 Dell Comics magazines published during the show's original run [1959-1961.]

With a hero often described as an "ex-confederate existential wanderer," THE REBEL starred Nick Adams [July 10, 1931 – February 7, 1968-- a sad drug casualty at only 36] as Johnny Yuma, a journal-keeping, sawed-off shotgun-toting, Civil War vet who, according to the classic Johnny Cash theme  song, "was panther-quick and leather tough/ 'cuz he figured that he'd been pushed enough!"  

[Somehow I can't see this premise being produced today.  Something very... er... "non-PC" about the whole thing, don't you think? Only makes me like it more , o'course!]

In this story, Johnny gets caught between a step-father's hatred and some vengeance seeking gun-thugs.  From Four Color #1138, 1961, here is "Black Eagle":

 

 

And how could we not hear that classic theme song to go along with the cool comic? 

 

PEACE

SATURDAY COMEDY SHOWCASE #4: Connie Stevens on SHA NA NA, 1979

Albie's Note:  OK true confession time. I really didn't fit into any "cool" groups back in high school, although I was never mistreated or bullied. [I was always a big guy, for one thing, and a natural comedian... I learned early that  those 2 things let you slip through a LOT of cracks socially!]

I just simply couldnt find my "place" among any of the established "cliques"-- like Pink Floyd-listening hippies-in-training, Disco fans or D-and-D players.  I loved comedy, and I loved music, but even then my taste was mainly for pre-seventies popular music, especially old country and early rock music.   The old records at home had spoiled me.  I guess today I would be called a "roots music" fan, but we had no such classification then. 

To give you an idea of how oddball I was, my favorite show in 1979-- hands down--  was one I would never have admitted watching to any of my fellow 9th graders:  SHA NA NA.  Shown each Sunday afternoon in southern AZ, basically it was a variety show with a bunch of greasy song-and-dance idiots doing a tribute to an overblown "1950s" that on many levels never existed in the first place.   It was goofy, corny, full of decades-old jokes and musical numbers... and I never missed it.

It wasn't even that I thought the show was GREAT... although I did find it entertaining.  And the guests were sometimes great:  I remember seeing Bo Diddley, Gary US Bonds, John Sebastian, Chcuk Berry, Dion DiMucci, The Ronnettes, Brenda Lee, and Del Shannon, just to name a few.   Still, though, the main appeal I think was that it all at least hinted at something.... something... at least different from the world I lived in!   There was this feeling... a greasy, goofy, well... cool-ness if you will... one that wasn't tragically cool... one that sort of managed to-- all at once-- lampoon and celebrate America and all its crassness.  In short, a more care-free, non-pretentious... well...  a more '80s kind of stance.

Now,  remember, this was the  1970s... a decade that for some reason took itself SOOO seriously... even in it's entertainment!  I mean... have you ever sat and watched the so-called  "defining" '70s movies?  Like LOVE STORY or FIVE EASY PIECES or ANNIE HALL??   Classics I suppose, but what do they really have in common? People just talking and whining and brooding like there's no tomorrow...

No wonder we all went nuts for STAR WARS!

Well... I hadn't seen SHA NA NA in years when I discovered all these clips on Youtube.  To most folks they would be goofy cultural artifacts at best. And they will be probably never be on DVD [one message board I found says the licensing headaches would be insurmountable, as the shows were about 60% performed music] and probably the only people who search these clips out are guys like me... pushing 50 and remembering the escape these simple shows once offered for stolen minutes of our disaffected adolescences. 

Still... watching this typical clip did one great thing for me... Doggoned if it didn't make me laugh!

"What would Connie be doin' in this neighborhood?"

"Maybe her brother's a wino!"

Grease for 

PEACE

COOL STUFF FROM LIBRARY BOOKS #32: Henry Varley on "SPEAKING GENTLY," 1884

 

 

"Speak Gently; Sorrow may be Hereabouts."

A train was hurrying along one of the main lines of the Western States of America. In one of the cars sat a young woman nursing a little babe, whose restlessness greatly annoyed some of the passengers.

Amongst these was a portly-looking farmer, whose appearance betokened comfort and plenty. Looking up from his paper, evidently irritated by the child's continued cry, he said, “Can't you keep that child quiet?” His eye met the gaze of the young woman, and he then noticed that her dress told of recent death. She looked toward him, and through her tears said: “I cannot help it. The child is not mine. I am doing my best.” “Where is its mother?” the farmer inquired, relenting somewhat in his tone. “In her coffin, sir; in the luggage car at the back of the train,” said the young woman, in her deep grief.

The big tears fell unbidden from the farmer's eyes. Rising up from his seat before all the passengers, he took the babe in his arms, kissed it, and, walking to and fro, did his rough best to soothe the motherless child, and make some reparation for his cold hard words. How many words and looks of unkindness would be changed into actions of sympathy and help did we but know more of others' sorrow!

From  Terse Talk on Timely Topics,
By Henry Varley; London: James Nisbet & Co., 1884, pp. 22-23.

 

 

 

PEACE

BETTER LIVING THRU OLD COMICS #10: DELL "Info-Pages" get REAL!

Albie's Note:  I love old DELL Comics and most everything about them, including those "Info-Pages" we skimmed past when we read comics the first time as kids.   Recently, while perusing the great COMICBOOKPLUS website, I came across some Info-pages from old issues of THE UNTOUCHABLES and MICHAEL SHAYNE, PRIVATE DETECTIVE, that were a little heavier than the usual "make-your-own-log cabin" kinda stuff! 

These were uh... the "hard-boiled" Info-Pages.  Informative they were, however...

 

 

 

Yikes!!  Remember... crime does NOT pay!

 

PEACE

 

SATURDAY COMEDY SHOWCASE #3: Houdini on FRACTURED FLICKERS, 1963

Albie's Note:  Although I was born in 1964 when it was already canceled, and never saw it once growing up, I have been curious for years about FRACTURED FLICKERS.  By all accounts this early example of what today would be called "digital dubbing" was a little-seen laugh riot from one of my true heroes Jay Ward [J Troplong Ward, September 20, 1920 – October 12, 1989] creator of Bullwinkle and George Of The Jungle.  Now the whole shebang is available on DVD, and yes it is HEE-lair-ee-ous!

Hosted by the great Hans Conreid [a familiar voice to any Bullwinkle or Dudley Do-Right fan] FLICKERS featured silent film footage overdubbed  with newly written comic dialogue and music. Here Harry Houdini's actual 1919 serial "The Master Mystery" is given the FLICKERS treatment, and the ensuing hilarity  takes us to a simpler, more unpretentious time in American humor. Enjoy.

  

Read the Wikipedia article on this great show HERE! 

 

PEACE